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Hospice-sponsored camp helps children who are grieving
By CHRISTINE NEFF
David Hiott's big brown eyes lit up as he talked about his dad.
"He was a lot of fun to be with," said the 8-year-old, as he recounted some of their favorite things to do together - playing catch, going to ship museums and sailing among them.
Though Hiott's father passed away last November, his memory lives on in his son, stronger than ever, thanks in part to a special camp sponsored by Delaware Hospice that helps children cope with the death of a close family member.
Camp New Hope took place over four days last week at Lums Pond State Park in Bear. Twenty-five children and teenagers, ages 6 to 17, from New Castle County attended this year's camp, the 16th one to be hosted by Delaware Hospice.
Many of the campers had a parent or grandparent go through the hospice program. The free camp, for the first time, also involved children from the community who had experienced the death of a loved one through such tragedies as motor vehicle accidents, homicide and suicide.
Through the week, campers met others their age that had experienced similar losses. They were coupled with volunteers trained in children's grief and worked closely with bereavement counselors.
They spoke of the people they lost, sharing stories and mementoes from their lives.
"Kids want to talk about the person that they loved and who died. That's how they work through things. They talk about it, they play about it, they remember. And that's what this camp is all about," said Allison Randall, New Hope counselor and co-camp director.
But it wasn't a week filled with tears. Camp New Hope focused on helping kids learn to enjoy life again.
There was laughter and lots of play, especially later in the week after the kids formed bonds with each other and their counselors. They had visits from therapy dogs and Personal Ponies' UK Shetlands. They went paddle boating and soaked each other with colorful water balloons.
The week's activities led up to a special service on Thursday where campers memorialized their loved ones in front of family, friends, fellow campers and camp staff.
For many kids, this was a first time to publicly express their grief for a loved one, as they weren't involved in plans for the funeral or memorial service, said Alex Tyree, bereavement counselor. At camp, he said of the kids, "They're in charge of their grief."
The campers worked together to plan their presentation. Some made shadowboxes with items that reminded them of their loved ones; others performed to a song.
Caitlyn Schell, 7, had a message for her father that she delivered with the help of a puppet she named Roxy. As Schell moved the puppet over a makeshift curtain, her message was read: "Dear Daddy. I miss you, and I love you...I wish I could hear your laugh one more time."
Randall said, for some children, the end of camp marks the beginning of the grief process; for others, Camp New Hope may be all it takes to start kids on the path to coping with their loss.
Hospice staff will conduct follow-ups with campers later this summer, she said. Some may continue working with New Hope, a year-round program offered by Delaware Hospice for children and adolescents.
But, one of the most important things kids will take away from camp is the knowledge that they're not alone, that other kids their age have experienced grief, said Randall.
This normalizes and validates what the kids are feeling, she said, adding that she thinks Camp New Hope is "essential" to this process. "These kids really need a place, a venue where they can express themselves, their feelings - whether they're happy, sad, confused, guilty," said Randall.
Young David Hiott said he will leave camp with memories of the friends he made there, his counselor, JoJo, and the fun times they had playing softball and eating snacks together.
But more than that, he learned that others know grief and are dealing with it, too. "I know I'm not alone. There's other kids who have lost loved ones," he said.
Delaware
Hospice is accredited by JCAHO.
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